Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Talking Turkey
These two trail camera photos were taken at the same location only a month apart from one another.
Evidence indeed that this is a bird that works for a living.
Tough bird the wild turkey is....
Evidence indeed that this is a bird that works for a living.
Tough bird the wild turkey is....
Monday, December 30, 2019
Sunday, December 29, 2019
Due Process and Fairness
In case you missed it President Trump was impeached by
the House of Representatives on December 18 for high crimes and misdemeanors. Article I: Abuse of Power and Article II:
Obstruction of Congress.
Under normal circumstances the proceedings will now go to the Senate where a trial should be conducted. The House will appoint impeachment managers who will prosecute their case with the President defending himself against the accusations with his own attorneys.
Furthermore, as with most trials there would ordinarily be witnesses called by each side to testify and be cross-examined. And in the end the Senate will stand in judgement as they will have taken a solemn oath of affirmation that they will perform their duties honestly and with due diligence. The President will either be acquitted and go back to work or convicted and fired.
Alas, by all outward appearances this event shares more in common with a circus or kangaroo court. And the guy in charge, Senator Mitch McConnell has already stated: "I'm not an impartial juror."
Nevertheless, in the interest of fairness and impartiality it is clear to me that former national security director John Bolton, acting chief of staff Mick Mulvaney and secretaries Mike Pompeo and Rick Perry should all testify. Maybe some other Whitehouse staffers too. If their exculpatory testimony were to exonerate the President then the impeachment will be completely turned on its head. The Democrats devastated and demoralized for having wasted everyone’s time, ginormous numbers of voters will switch their support to Trump in the 2020 election and the President will triumphantly emerge victorious. Four more years!
Why Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell won’t do this is a puzzlement to me.
Under normal circumstances the proceedings will now go to the Senate where a trial should be conducted. The House will appoint impeachment managers who will prosecute their case with the President defending himself against the accusations with his own attorneys.
Furthermore, as with most trials there would ordinarily be witnesses called by each side to testify and be cross-examined. And in the end the Senate will stand in judgement as they will have taken a solemn oath of affirmation that they will perform their duties honestly and with due diligence. The President will either be acquitted and go back to work or convicted and fired.
Alas, by all outward appearances this event shares more in common with a circus or kangaroo court. And the guy in charge, Senator Mitch McConnell has already stated: "I'm not an impartial juror."
Nevertheless, in the interest of fairness and impartiality it is clear to me that former national security director John Bolton, acting chief of staff Mick Mulvaney and secretaries Mike Pompeo and Rick Perry should all testify. Maybe some other Whitehouse staffers too. If their exculpatory testimony were to exonerate the President then the impeachment will be completely turned on its head. The Democrats devastated and demoralized for having wasted everyone’s time, ginormous numbers of voters will switch their support to Trump in the 2020 election and the President will triumphantly emerge victorious. Four more years!
Why Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell won’t do this is a puzzlement to me.
Saturday, December 28, 2019
Packer Nation
Jill found this display of various holiday cookie decorations at a grocery in Green Bay recently.
Only in Green Bay will you find Green and Gold colored sugar sprinkles.
Packers Rules. Vikings Drool....
Friday, December 27, 2019
Friday Music
Texas singer and songwriter Townes Van Zandt recorded tracks for an album with a working title of Seven Come Eleven in
1972. The recordings went unreleased for
20 years as a consequence of a dispute between his manager Kevin Eggers and record
producer Jack Clement.
Eggers either could not or refused to pay for the studio sessions so Clement erased the master tapes. However, before they were deleted Eggers snuck into the studio and recorded rough mixes of the songs - including this one - on to a cassette tape.
Van Zandt biographer John Kruth has suggested that this song is a metaphor for the heroin barreling like a semi down the interstate of Van Zandt's veins and addresses the dangers that he and his pals constantly faced for a brief moment of drug-induced euphoria. -Wikipedia
Lots of talent on this stage to cover White Freightliner Blues…..
Eggers either could not or refused to pay for the studio sessions so Clement erased the master tapes. However, before they were deleted Eggers snuck into the studio and recorded rough mixes of the songs - including this one - on to a cassette tape.
Van Zandt biographer John Kruth has suggested that this song is a metaphor for the heroin barreling like a semi down the interstate of Van Zandt's veins and addresses the dangers that he and his pals constantly faced for a brief moment of drug-induced euphoria. -Wikipedia
Lots of talent on this stage to cover White Freightliner Blues…..
Thursday, December 26, 2019
A Romp of Otters
April 28, 2018 I captured several digital trail camera photos of a half-dozen northern river otters cruising one of the trails. That was a first. It doesn't necessarily mean that river otters haven't been here before - or since - it simply means that they revealed themselves to an ever-vigilant trail camera monitoring one particular location.
They're back. Same location, same camera, different time of year - November 30th to be sure - 10 PM for this nocturnal, diurnal member of the Mustelidae family.
Weasels, mink and muskrat are rather common around these parts. Earlier this year I even captured a photo of a rare and elusive fisher. This member of the weasel and skunk family is a semi-aquatic mammal characterized by their gregariousness and sociability. Their presence is an indicator of a healthy riparian environment as this is a critter that is absolutely intolerant of water pollution.
When fishing in northern Wisconsin they're a common sight - so perhaps they're becoming more common on the peninsula too. If you spy a family assembly of otters lounging-about that is termed a lodge or bevy. If they are swimming as a group that would be a raft of otters. On the other hand, if a troupe of them is tumbling down a trail like this - that would be called a romp of otters.
They're back. Same location, same camera, different time of year - November 30th to be sure - 10 PM for this nocturnal, diurnal member of the Mustelidae family.
Weasels, mink and muskrat are rather common around these parts. Earlier this year I even captured a photo of a rare and elusive fisher. This member of the weasel and skunk family is a semi-aquatic mammal characterized by their gregariousness and sociability. Their presence is an indicator of a healthy riparian environment as this is a critter that is absolutely intolerant of water pollution.
When fishing in northern Wisconsin they're a common sight - so perhaps they're becoming more common on the peninsula too. If you spy a family assembly of otters lounging-about that is termed a lodge or bevy. If they are swimming as a group that would be a raft of otters. On the other hand, if a troupe of them is tumbling down a trail like this - that would be called a romp of otters.
Tuesday, December 24, 2019
Day Off
The blog will be closed tomorrow so that we can all spend time with our families.
Cheers everyone!
Monday, December 23, 2019
Sunday, December 22, 2019
Saturday, December 21, 2019
Sunset
Interesting sunset this evening.
What caught our attention was the reds and pinks directly to the south - which is unusual. The panorama photo catches this phenomena best.
For reference the granary in the middle of the pano is directly south. It is instructive to note how far south the sun is setting in that photo.
After tonight - the longest night of the year - the sun will begin to slowly creep back to the west and the days shall grow longer.
What caught our attention was the reds and pinks directly to the south - which is unusual. The panorama photo catches this phenomena best.
 |
| click on the images for a closer look |
For reference the granary in the middle of the pano is directly south. It is instructive to note how far south the sun is setting in that photo.
After tonight - the longest night of the year - the sun will begin to slowly creep back to the west and the days shall grow longer.
Check Your Shadow Today
The hiemal solstice or hibernal solstice, sometimes
called midwinter, but more commonly known as the winter solstice occurs when the
Sun reaches its most southerly declination of -23.4 degrees. It is that point
in time when the sun is exactly over the Tropic of Capricorn. In other words - when the North Pole is
tilted furthest away from the Sun.
On this date for anyone residing in Antarctica (the South Pole) - the opposite is true. Today you would observe the Midnight Sun and enjoy 24 hours of sunlight. For us living in the northern hemisphere tonight will be the longest night of the year. This is to say that after this evening the daylight hours will begin to grow longer in the days and weeks to follow.
If today is nice and sunny be sure to go outside at noon to observe your shadow. On the solstice your shadow is the longest it will be all year.
Finally, if you are persnickety the precise timing of this event is 10:19 pm CST. Before bedtime you may want to go outside to observe the heavens and raise a toast to the winter solstice.
Fingers-crossed for cold, clear, winter night skies.
Cheers!
Edit to add:
On this date for anyone residing in Antarctica (the South Pole) - the opposite is true. Today you would observe the Midnight Sun and enjoy 24 hours of sunlight. For us living in the northern hemisphere tonight will be the longest night of the year. This is to say that after this evening the daylight hours will begin to grow longer in the days and weeks to follow.
If today is nice and sunny be sure to go outside at noon to observe your shadow. On the solstice your shadow is the longest it will be all year.
Finally, if you are persnickety the precise timing of this event is 10:19 pm CST. Before bedtime you may want to go outside to observe the heavens and raise a toast to the winter solstice.
Fingers-crossed for cold, clear, winter night skies.
Cheers!
Edit to add:
 |
| From our walk today |
Friday, December 20, 2019
Friday Music
This Christmas song was composed and performed by one of
my favorite country artists. You’d have
to be a fan of Robert Earl Keen to understand the snarkiness.
In any event it was first recorded for Keen's 1994 album - Gringo Honeymoon. It’s a tongue-in-cheek poke at the Christmas
holiday from a native Texan.
Merry Christmas to all of you readers from the staff here at The Platz. Best wishes for good health and prosperity in the New Year.
This is a particularly nice acoustic version of Merry Christmas from the Family……
Merry Christmas to all of you readers from the staff here at The Platz. Best wishes for good health and prosperity in the New Year.
This is a particularly nice acoustic version of Merry Christmas from the Family……
Thursday, December 19, 2019
How to Make Venison Stroganoff
Thaw a couple of packages of venison round steak sliced a half-inch thick. Trim them of every last vestige of sinew, tallow and silver skin. Set aside. Prep a bowl of flour seasoned with fresh cracked pepper and sea salt.
Dice a medium sweet onion along with a couple of teaspoons of diced garlic.
In a Dutch oven heat extra virgin olive oil until shimmering. Add the onions and garlic and cook until the onions are translucent and the garlic begins to brown. Transfer to a bowl with a slotted spoon. Keep the flame on medium high.
Dredge your steaks in the seasoned flour shaking-off any excess and add them to the Dutch oven.
Add additional olive oil as needed and sear your steaks quickly. They do not have to be cooked-thru. Do not crowd them, brown them quickly and move to a platter.
Return the steaks, onion and garlic to the reduction of wine in the bottom of the pot. Add a 32 ounce carton of beef base and a generous splooch of catsup. You can open a small can of tomato paste and add that but why bother. Most people have ketchup in the fridge. Use it and be generous.
Raise the pot to a simmer, cover it and cook on a very low simmer for a couple of hours.
Use this interval to slice and rinse a couple of packages of fresh mushrooms. I like Baby Bellas but you pick whatever trips your trigger. Fresh is best and because mushrooms cook down use more if you're fond of them. Drain and set aside.
After your steaks have simmered on low for a couple of hours add the drained and cleaned mushrooms, cover the pot, turn-off the flame and go hunting with your buddy for about two additional hours. Leave the pot covered and the flame off. If you aren't hunting use this two hours of rest to read a book, watch the game or shag your partner. You pick.
Following this restpite remove the cover and return the pot to a very slow simmer. The mushrooms will have begun to release their juices so it's OK to leave the lid off to reduce the liquid in the pot. Your house will begin to fill with the aroma of deliciousness. As a consequence your stomach will begin to growl but you must be patient and strong. You must wait. Pour yourself an adult beverage and snack on cheeses, deer sausage, pickled herring or whatever. You cannot rush the stroganoff.
After the juice has reduced by one-fourth or one-third spoon a 14 ounce carton of sour cream into a bowl and whisk it into smoothness. At this point start a pot of salted water to boil on your stovetop for the noodles. A word about the sour cream - use more if you want. The fun thing about cooking in a pot is that you can adjust on the fly according to taste. Before adding the dairy element this would be an excellent time to taste the pot juices and salt and pepper as needed.
When the noodle pot approaches boiling add the whipped sour cream to the stroganoff and whisk it into silky smoothness. Keeping your Dutch oven on a low simmer use a wooden spoon break-up the steaks into slightly smaller pieces. This is a matter of personal preference - nevertheless by doing so it will make it easier to continue to whisk your stroganoff. No lumps!
When the water reaches boiling add a package of noodles of choice. These will take only about 6-10 minutes to cook so take the opportunity to check the stroganoff. Whisk it some more. If it is too thin you can thicken it by the careful addition of a cornstarch and water slurry. Go slow and easy as too much will turn it to goop.
Drain your cooked noodles and dish-up a bowl of noodle dumplings and top with a generous ladle of the venison stroganoff.
Serve with garden-grown English peas from the freezer and dinner rolls or sliced baguette and sweet cream unsalted butter. A bold red wine pairs nicely with this.
Dice a medium sweet onion along with a couple of teaspoons of diced garlic.
In a Dutch oven heat extra virgin olive oil until shimmering. Add the onions and garlic and cook until the onions are translucent and the garlic begins to brown. Transfer to a bowl with a slotted spoon. Keep the flame on medium high.
Add additional olive oil as needed and sear your steaks quickly. They do not have to be cooked-thru. Do not crowd them, brown them quickly and move to a platter.
At this point you will note that the bottom of your Dutch oven is encrusted with all manner of burnt brown bits.
Do not despair. These are valuable bomblets of flavor and the next step is to keep the Dutch oven on medium heat and deglaze it with a couple of cups of dry red wine. Merlot out of the box works just fine. If you are done hunting for the day pour yourself a glass too. Using a spatula be sure to scrape all the crusty bits of flavor from the bottom of the pot.
Raise the pot to a simmer, cover it and cook on a very low simmer for a couple of hours.
Use this interval to slice and rinse a couple of packages of fresh mushrooms. I like Baby Bellas but you pick whatever trips your trigger. Fresh is best and because mushrooms cook down use more if you're fond of them. Drain and set aside.
After your steaks have simmered on low for a couple of hours add the drained and cleaned mushrooms, cover the pot, turn-off the flame and go hunting with your buddy for about two additional hours. Leave the pot covered and the flame off. If you aren't hunting use this two hours of rest to read a book, watch the game or shag your partner. You pick.
Following this restpite remove the cover and return the pot to a very slow simmer. The mushrooms will have begun to release their juices so it's OK to leave the lid off to reduce the liquid in the pot. Your house will begin to fill with the aroma of deliciousness. As a consequence your stomach will begin to growl but you must be patient and strong. You must wait. Pour yourself an adult beverage and snack on cheeses, deer sausage, pickled herring or whatever. You cannot rush the stroganoff.
After the juice has reduced by one-fourth or one-third spoon a 14 ounce carton of sour cream into a bowl and whisk it into smoothness. At this point start a pot of salted water to boil on your stovetop for the noodles. A word about the sour cream - use more if you want. The fun thing about cooking in a pot is that you can adjust on the fly according to taste. Before adding the dairy element this would be an excellent time to taste the pot juices and salt and pepper as needed.
When the noodle pot approaches boiling add the whipped sour cream to the stroganoff and whisk it into silky smoothness. Keeping your Dutch oven on a low simmer use a wooden spoon break-up the steaks into slightly smaller pieces. This is a matter of personal preference - nevertheless by doing so it will make it easier to continue to whisk your stroganoff. No lumps!
When the water reaches boiling add a package of noodles of choice. These will take only about 6-10 minutes to cook so take the opportunity to check the stroganoff. Whisk it some more. If it is too thin you can thicken it by the careful addition of a cornstarch and water slurry. Go slow and easy as too much will turn it to goop.
Drain your cooked noodles and dish-up a bowl of noodle dumplings and top with a generous ladle of the venison stroganoff.
 |
| click on images for a detailed look |
Serve with garden-grown English peas from the freezer and dinner rolls or sliced baguette and sweet cream unsalted butter. A bold red wine pairs nicely with this.
Winter-time comfort food and a favorite at deer camp.
Cheers!
Wednesday, December 18, 2019
Christmas Bird Count
Our participation in the 2019 Brussels Christmas Bird
Count occurred during deer hunting and breaking-down the camp. It was during this time we counted
birds. And on Sunday afternoon Jill and
I spied this – a bird previously sighted on February 9, 2015.
A rough-legged hawk.
I always figured this bird for quite rare as this is a tundra-dwelling raptor that nests in the Arctic and likely winters near the borders of Canadian boreal forests.
A rough-legged hawk.
I always figured this bird for quite rare as this is a tundra-dwelling raptor that nests in the Arctic and likely winters near the borders of Canadian boreal forests.
In any event we submitted our report and on
the subject of the rough-legged hawk who knew....
Hi Tom,
Thanks for doing the count and sending in your report. Not many people doing feeder counts get to
report a rough-legged hawk. They are not
as rare as one would think. Two years
ago on the entire Brussels count we had 31 of them seen in one day. Back in 2003
their numbers reached 39.
They are
one of two open country hawks seen here in winter. The other is the red-tailed and this year
appears to be good for both species in the Brussels count.
Once all reports are in I will make a
total report and will email one to you.
Stay tuned....
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
Quote of the Day
The convention might with propriety have meditated the punishment of the Executive, for a deviation from the instructions of the Senate, or a want of integrity in the conduct of the negotiations committed to him; they might also have had in view the punishment of a few leading individuals in the Senate, who should have prostituted their influence in that body as the mercenary instruments of foreign corruption: but they could not, with more or with equal propriety, have contemplated the impeachment and punishment of two thirds of the Senate....
-Alexander Hamilton
The Federalist Papers
Sunday, December 15, 2019
Saturday, December 14, 2019
Recipe of the Day
We don’t each much beef in our household with most of our
consumption restricted to those tasty, 1/3 pound ground chuck burgers we obtain from the butcher
in town. Nevertheless, I had a hankering
for pot roast the other day and since I was making a trip to town anyway I
returned with a hefty chunk of roast for Sunday dinner. The results were excellent. Here are simple, easy to follow instructions for a hearty pot roast dinner.
Ingredients:
One beef chuck roast
Ingredients:
One beef chuck roast
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
All-purpose flour
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
3 stalks celery, cut into 2-inch chunks
2 carrots cut into 2-inch chunks
One large onion, cut into 1-inch chunks
6-8 medium garden potatoes cut into 2-inch chunks
3 t garlic, chopped fine
3 t thyme
3 t rosemary
2 dried bay leaves
1/2 cup dry red wine
1 32 ounce carton of beef stock
Directions
Preheat the oven to 300 degrees F.
Season the roast with salt and pepper and dredge in
flour. In your Dutch oven heat the oil
until shimmering. Add the roast and sear
on all sides until browned. Add the beef
base, red wine, garlic and spices.
Add the vegetables reserving the potatoes for last. Bring everything back to a simmer, cover and
place in the oven and cook for three hours.
Uncover and cook an additional hour.
Remove the vegetables to an oven proof platter and return to the oven
to keep warm. Transfer the the meat to a
cutting board and tent with foil.
Ladle
the remaining liquid from the Dutch oven to a fat separator and return the decanted fat-free juice goodness to the pot. The drippings will be concentrated so dilute with 4-5
cups of water or to taste.
Time to make the
gravy. Raise the temp on the liquid and
thicken with a slurry of cornstarch and water.
Carve the meat on the bias, plate with roast veggies and gravy along with a bold red wine.
 |
| click on images for a closer look |
Excellent winter comfort food.
Friday, December 13, 2019
Friday Music
Very early Rolling Stones performing on the Mike Douglas
daytime television show. From outward
appearances the first song – Carol –
is performed live and Tell Me is
lip-synched. Return to a live rendition
of Not Fade Away.
The interview is hilarious.
The interview is hilarious.
Thursday, December 12, 2019
Look to the Heavens
One of the fun things about winter is the night sky. Cold, clear, winter skies are characterized
by a lack of humidity and if you live in the country there is very little urban
light pollution creating some spectacular opportunities for star-gazing.
December brings a couple of meteor showers to the night skies. The more prolific of the two is the Geminids with as many as 120 to 160 shooting stars per hour.
Shooting starts are most often associated with the Earth’s passage thru the debris field of a comet. The Geminids are a bit of a mystery as they are related with an extinct comet which also happens to be a near-earth asteroid named 3200 Phaethon.
While competition from the
light cast by the Cold Moon could be a challenge this is a show you do not want
to miss. The best viewing should start
the evening of Friday the 13th and peak on Saturday evening the 14th.
December 17th to the 26th brings the Ursid meteor shower with 5 to 10 shooting stars per hour as the Earth passes thru the debris field of Comet 8P/Tuttle.
Peak action coincides with
the solstice the evening of the 21st and 22nd. A nearly moonless sky could make viewing
easier.
Mark your calendar and if your catch a cold, clear, winter sky bundle-up and take some time to sit outside and observe the heavens.
There’s no mosquitoes this time of year!
December brings a couple of meteor showers to the night skies. The more prolific of the two is the Geminids with as many as 120 to 160 shooting stars per hour.
Shooting starts are most often associated with the Earth’s passage thru the debris field of a comet. The Geminids are a bit of a mystery as they are related with an extinct comet which also happens to be a near-earth asteroid named 3200 Phaethon.
 |
| EarthSky.org |
December 17th to the 26th brings the Ursid meteor shower with 5 to 10 shooting stars per hour as the Earth passes thru the debris field of Comet 8P/Tuttle.
 |
| EarthSky.org |
Mark your calendar and if your catch a cold, clear, winter sky bundle-up and take some time to sit outside and observe the heavens.
There’s no mosquitoes this time of year!
Wednesday, December 11, 2019
There's a Moon Out Tonight
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, Gave a
lustre of midday to objects below, When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
The full moon you will observe in the heavens this evening is called the Full Cold Moon.
It is characterized by the arc of its trajectory across the sky which
allows it to appear above the horizon for a longer period of time.
Because of its close association with the winter solstice - and the shortest of daylight hours - native people called this the Long Nights Moon.
For your best view of this beauty be sure to catch the moonrise tonight. The Moon will attain its peak of fullness twelve minutes after midnight - coincidentally 12:12 AM on 12/12.
Fingers crossed for clear, cold viewing tonight.
Edit to add - Moonrise from only a short while ago...
-'Twas the Night Before Christmas, Clement
Clarke Moore
 |
| photo - NASA |
Because of its close association with the winter solstice - and the shortest of daylight hours - native people called this the Long Nights Moon.
For your best view of this beauty be sure to catch the moonrise tonight. The Moon will attain its peak of fullness twelve minutes after midnight - coincidentally 12:12 AM on 12/12.
Fingers crossed for clear, cold viewing tonight.
Edit to add - Moonrise from only a short while ago...
click on image for a closer look
Tuesday, December 10, 2019
Celestial Bodies
Whoa!
Simultaneous moonrise and sunset from a few moments ago.
And it is freaking freezing cold out there.....
click on images for a closer look
Animal Factoid
I was reading something the other day about three
magnificent raptors – the barn owl, osprey and peregrine falcon.
These hunters are quite adaptable, capable of flying vast distances and are specialized hunters. The peregrine falcon preys-upon small birds. The osprey fetches fish from the lakes and river it calls its habitat and the secretive barn owl subsists almost exclusively on rodents.
All three of these birds can be found throughout the world - a testament to their adaptability. Nevertheless, a successfully adaptable as these birds are they are not to be found on the continent of Antarctica. Evidence that there are limits on adaptability.
Coincidentally, you will find ants and dung beetles on every continent as well. With the exception of Antarctica.
These hunters are quite adaptable, capable of flying vast distances and are specialized hunters. The peregrine falcon preys-upon small birds. The osprey fetches fish from the lakes and river it calls its habitat and the secretive barn owl subsists almost exclusively on rodents.
All three of these birds can be found throughout the world - a testament to their adaptability. Nevertheless, a successfully adaptable as these birds are they are not to be found on the continent of Antarctica. Evidence that there are limits on adaptability.
Coincidentally, you will find ants and dung beetles on every continent as well. With the exception of Antarctica.
Monday, December 9, 2019
Fun With Words
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning
submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply
alternative meanings for common words. The winners are:
1. Coffee (N.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (V.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (V.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (Adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (Adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (V.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (N.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (N.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (N.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (N.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (N.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (N), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (N.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (N.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (N.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:
1. Coffee (N.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (V.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (V.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (Adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (Adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (V.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (N.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (N.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (N.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (N.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (N.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (N), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (N.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (N.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (N.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (N.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (V): Any
misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3.
Cashtration (N.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (N): Vandalism
spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (N): The gulf between the author of
sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (V): To take
coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (N): Terminal
coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (N): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)
9. Karmageddon (N): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (N.): The grueling event of getting through the
day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (V): All talk and
no action.
12. Dopeler effect (N): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (N.): The frantic dance
performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14.
Beelzebug (N.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at
three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (N.): The color
you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. And the pick of
the literature:
16. Ignoranus (N): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
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