And Now For Something Completely Different

I'd try this, once... 

American Culinary Dominance

The TV dinner represents a major shift in our 20th Century lifestyle - the moon shot  moment the aluminum-plated frozen meal met the living room.  To be clear, I haven't had a TV dinner in more than five decades; however eating in the living room persists as a cultural shift.

Believe it or not, this uniquely American gastronomical contribution to our rich culture heritage has an origin story involving C.A. Swanson & Sons.  Seems that following Thanksgiving in 1953, the company found itself with 260 tons of unsold frozen turkey sitting in ten refrigerated rail cars.  

Gerry Thomas, a Swanson salesman, inspired by the tiered aluminum trays used by airline commissaries envisioned a complete frozen meal that could be heated and consumed smack dab in front of a television.  In 1954 Swanson launched the TV Dinner and sold 10 million turkey dinners that year.  The original price was 98 cents. 

Naturally, this coincided with the launch of the space race and all things aluminum and before too long menu offerings included entrees like fried chicken, Salisbury steak, meatloaf and eventually a fourth compartment featuring a dessert such as a brownie or fruit cobbler.  Swanson ditched the 'TV Dinner' name from their packaging by 1962; nevertheless, just like Kleenex tissues the name stuck as part of our vast genericized American cultural lexicon.

With the proliferation of microwave ovens, by the mid 1980s plastic and paperboard packaging conspired to deliver your frozen gourmet feast in less than ten minutes!  

Sure, I'm being modestly snarky because I'm a food snob but I admit that this mash-up of industrialization and frozen food technology was a boon to working families struggling to get dinner on time and on the table.  Trust me, I've eaten my share of frozen Banquet turkey pot pies served at the temperature of molten lava on the surface of the planet Mercury.   You might have too.

Anyway, the Chopped Sirloin of Beef (hamburger) swimming in a ubiquitous brown gravy highlighted a partnership between Swanson and Pepperidge Farm featuring a blueberry muffin in the fourth compartment thus elevating the culinary experience to the level of festive celebration.  Mad Men advertising brilliance!

Between you and me the inclusion of crinkle-cut fries and buttered peas is a monument to the pinnacle of American industrial processed food know-how, sodium content and poor food pairings.  The birthday candle and even the smiling cat screams domestic tranquility.

Dammit; this is the Right Stuff.  This is what Made America Great!  

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The Joy of Giving

Over the recent holidays we were the recipient of any number of stocking-stuffer gifts; many of them edible. Cookies, brownies, candies, popcorn, a selection of fine English teas and much more.  Most interesting was a one-pound bag of dried, pitted plums.  Evidence of it being more blessed to give than receive?    

An interesting gift for sure and knowing I would need some time to figure-out how to incorporate them into our diet I placed them on a shelf in the pantry aside the nuts and other baking ingredients.  However, there was something about them that was different.  Sort of off.  I couldn't put my finger on it.  Time passed.

Then, while watching a movie comedy on a recent evening I had a Eureka Moment.  Fetching the bag I produced it for the Missus and asked if she noticed anything unusual?  Nope.  Anything odd?  Nope.  Anything missing?  Such as branding, like Del Monte, Sunkist, etcetera?

Yup.  That bag was devoid of any evidence of who produced and packaged it.  Prominent in the generic packaging was a missive extolling the nutritional virtues of dried, pitted plums, a government website and a big, honking, USDA Logo.  I'm no fool, I'm a tree farmer.  And just like any other farmer or rancher I know the USDA all day long.  

From all outward appearances we had come into possession of a one pound bag of genuine USDA surplus commodity dried pitted plums the likes of which find their way to school lunch kitchens, supplemental meal programs for seniors, children, qualifying families and food pantries.  

This was nowhere near as exotic as being on the receiving end of a twenty pound block of surplus commodity pasteurized process American cheese food product but since we don't share surplus food commodities with poor nations any longer my dried, pitted, plums were clearly unworthy of needlessly languishing in my pantry; or worse yet - a landfill.  

Ecstatic with solving the origin mystery of our bag of deep purple wrinkled fruits I was motivated to put them to good use.  So I asked ChatGPT what to make with precisely one pound of dried, pitted, plums.  Suggestions included all manner of cakes, tortes, braised meat dishes and more.  Looking for easy I replied in clarification with one word:  Jam.

I was going make some jam.  Fortunately, I had everything necessary in the pantry so I put my prunes (that is what they are after-all) to soak overnight and ran a full dishwasher at bedtime to wash and sanitize a half-dozen half-pint jars in preparation for an easy-peasy recipe for prune jam the following morning.

Here it is...

Prune Jam — Water-Bath Canning Instructions

Why this is safe

• Prunes are naturally acidic
• Added lemon juice ensures pH stays safely below 4.6
• Water-bath canning is appropriate (no pressure canner needed)

Ingredients

• 1 lb dried pitted plums (prunes)
• 2½–3 cups water
• 1½–2 cups sugar (do not reduce below 1½ for shelf stability)
• 2 Tbsp bottled lemon juice (important for acidity)
• Optional:
  
• 1 tsp vanilla or
• ½ tsp cinnamon or
• Orange zest

Equipment

• Water-bath canner or large deep pot with rack
• 4–5 half-pint jars (or 2–3 pint jars)
• New lids, bands
• Jar lifter, funnel, bubble remover

Step 1: Prepare Jars

1. Wash jars, lids, and bands.
2. Keep jars hot (simmering water or dishwasher).
3. Heat lids in warm (not boiling) water.

Step 2: Make the Jam

1. Soak prunes in water 8 hours or overnight (or simmer 20 minutes if short on time).
2. Transfer prunes and soaking liquid to a pot.
3. Simmer 20–30 minutes until very soft.
4. Blend smooth or chunky. (I used a stick blender for slightly chunky)
5. Add sugar and lemon juice.
6. Simmer 10–20 minutes, stirring often, until thick and glossy.
7. Optional spices go in during the last 5 minutes. (I chose vanilla)

Jam should mound on a spoon and wrinkle on a cold plate.

Step 3: Fill Jars

1. Ladle hot jam into hot jars.
2. Leave ¼ inch headspace.
3. Remove air bubbles.
4. Wipe rims clean.
5. Apply lids and bands finger-tight. 

Step 4: Water-Bath Process

1. Place jars on rack in canner.
2. Cover with 1–2 inches of boiling water.
3. Once water returns to a full boil, start timing:

 Processing Time

• Half-pints or pints:
  10 minutes (0–1,000 ft elevation)

Adjust for altitude:

• 1,001–3,000 ft → 15 minutes
• 3,001–6,000 ft → 20 minutes
• Above 6,000 ft → 25 minutes

(I processed five half-pint jars for 30 minutes)  

Step 5: Cool & Check Seals

1. Turn off heat, rest jars in water 5 minutes.
2. Remove jars; cool 12–24 hours undisturbed.
3. Check seals (lid should not flex).
4. Remove bands, wipe jars.

Storage

• Shelf-stable: 12–18 months
• Store cool, dark, dry
• Refrigerate after opening                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       
  
                                                                                                                                          The yield was five half-pint jars and a sixth scant half pint that went into the fridge for immediate use.  My jam was definitely very prune-like with a satisfying sweet and tart finish.  The vanilla I added was a keeper.  Aside from putting this on a toasted English muffin this jam could also be used like a chutney with pork or poultry.  It would make a fine glaze on braised pork, duck, chicken or a baked ham.  A tablespoonful in a fruit smoothie would add sweetness and beneficial fiber; same for plain Greek yogurt.  If you're making your own BBQ sauce from scratch or simply want to amp-up a bottle of store-bought this is just the ticket to add some depth.                                                              
   
   
  The USDA leaves much to be criticized; nevertheless, the agency's food and nutritional programs serve to feed needful citizens and make use of the bounty of surplus food generated by America's efficiently-productive farm sector.  Someone got those prunes from a channel completely out of my league.  And they were thoughtful enough to gift those prunes. Perhaps prunes are evidence of largess and therefore a prized gift.  Perhaps they don't care for dried fruit or were stumped over how to utilize them.  I'll never know the answer to these questions.  Thankfully, they weren't pitched into the kitchen garbage. The virtue of frugality is not lost on me.  Just goes to show - never question the value of a gift.  Be grateful and put it to good use - Acts 20:35. 

Does It Glow In The Dark?

Try our tasty Uranium Burger – 45¢, Salt Lake City, Utah (1954). 

Photo by Carl Iwasaki. 

Yes, it was a thing..... 

Original Sack Lunch

The Deerfield (Michigan) Testicle Festival is a fundraiser for American Legion Post 392 that’s been held every March for over two decades, started by some folks with a great sense of humor. 

They buy hundreds of pounds of Rocky Mountain Oysters—deep-fried bull testicles—every year, a few volunteers cook them up a day or two before the event, and they serve them on a first-come-first-serve basis. 

Learn more about this road trip destination here. 

Shelf Life

Will Twinkies last forever? 

This is the iconic shelf stable baked good that was made popular during WW2 via a substitution of bananas for a cream-like filling. The rationing of all food during the war, including bananas, lead to major shortages. Some folks went 6 years without eating a banana during that time. After the war? They kept it as the cream filling because they sold way more and it became the most popular and loved shelf stable baked good of all time.

Tender At Any Cost

Yes, I spotted this at a grocery store in Sturgeon Bay.

Tenderloin of watermelon.

Who knew?

$13 gets you the most expensive melon on the planet.....