Friday Food Fun

Nick Offerman shows how easy it is to provide kids with healthy, farm-fresh snacks like pizza, taquitos, and fish sticks harvested straight off the vine. 

 Remember kids - if it comes from a plant it is healthy....

Friday Comedy

Jiminy Glick is one of comedian Martin Short's most brilliant and chaotic alter egos.  He has been described as a satirical masterpiece weaponized against the usual standard of softball celebrity interviews.

Buried in a massive fat suit and outrageous facial prosthetics and sporting signature thick-rimmed glasses, Glick is fictional celebrity journalist from Akron, Ohio.  The character is completely uninformed, deeply self-absorbed and utterly unbothered by his own total lack of preparation.  All of which is a near-perfect set-up for Short's improvisational comedy skills as he interviews. real-life celebrity guests. 

A typical interview is marked by near zero attention span, bizarrely insulting questions, high-pitched outbursts ranging from a breathy lisp to maniacal giggles and constant snacking. 

In 2001 Short brought the character to Comedy Central for Primetime Glick interviewing Bill Maher and Steve Martin as his first guests. Over two years and 30 episodes Glick hosted a long list of Saturday Night Live alumni including Dennis Miller, Bill Crystal, Janeane Garofalo, Molly Shannon, Chevy Chase, Jon Lovitz, Chris Elliott and Rob Schneider.  In 2003 Glick earned Short an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program.

Primetime Glick wrapped up after three seasons, yet the character kept going.  In 2004, MGM released Jiminy Glick in Lalawood, a feature film co-starring Jan Hooks that was mash-up of Glick interviews and murder mystery. 

I hope this brings a smile to your lips...

Managing Pond Scum

Schadenfreude is the pleasure we feel when witnessing the misfortune of others.  While it may seem mean-spirited, and even vindictive; if you feel guilty about the satisfaction you experience when someone else messed-up don't be too hard on yourself.  It happens.  I admit to feeling a wee bit mirthful over the president's ongoing battle with pond scum.

Anybody who has lived on a farm, had a neglected backyard pool, pond, gone fishing or otherwise been anywhere near a body of water knows that algae happens once the weather warms-up.  Where I live excess nutrient runoff can create entire dead zones in Green Bay and close beaches to swimmers.  When that happens both us and our dogs stay out of the water until the danger passes.  Hey!  What about your ponds and creek?

Good question.  All three bodies of water on our property support a wealth of diversity including aquatic plant life to animals.  There is no excess nutrient runoff in the ponds because we don't apply any.  Natural algae growth and protozoans support insects and animals on the low end of the food chain. Which, in-turn, support amphibians and reptiles and birds like cranes, ducks and herons.  I can't speak for runoff in the creek because I cannot control agricultural applications upstream or downstream; but it certainly supports bait fish and crawdads.  Speaking for myself, we use best management practices (BMPs) for riparian habitat.

Does the water on my ponds and creek look like drinking water?   Nope.  Would I drink it?  Nope.  Does it look better than the Reflecting Pool water?  Absolutely.  The biophilia is in balance.  You cannot win a fight against Ma Nature and science.

Algae blooms have long thrived in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool since it opened in 1922.  It is filled with stagnant tidal water from the Potomac River further enriched with excess nitrogen and phosphorus runoff which algae loves.  Mr. Trump's own Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) will tell you that the water in the pool is unsafe for swimming, fishing or supporting aquatic life.  It is hazardous.  

The president has insisted that his $14 million renovation this spring would forever banish the cloudy, algae-infested water as a consequence of sealing the leaks, filtering the water and painting the bottom American Flag Blue.   

Following the renovations it was refilled with the same nutrient-rich tidal water (not treated city water), wildlife defecated in the pool, it is shallow, fetid and foul and warmed-up in the summer sunshine.  Summers in D.C. are sweltering and the dark blue bottom exacerbated the problem by absorbing more heat and voilà, the largest algae bloom in recent memory!

Mr. Trump wanted blue and he got green.  And lots of it. 

He looked at the algae and blamed imaginary enemies, because enemies are easier than learning.  In the last five days it seems at least five individuals have been cited, arrested or otherwise detained for poisoning or vandalizing the Reflecting Pool.  I don't believe the Reflecting Pool was sabotaged; because I haven't been witness to mug shots or the drama of  a Trumpian perp walk.  The real cause is usually the obvious; it is simply dirty water, full of food for algae, followed by hot weather and now the bottom is delaminating possibly because of shoddy installation by a no-bid contractor and/or the president's own motorcade driving across it.   

 

The president called it an attack because the real answer is too complicated for him to grasp.  Another excuse from the man who shouts at people but cannot shout science out of the water. I guess he missed the class. 

The toxic Reflecting Pool is actually a perfect metaphor for Mr. Trump; and he created it himself. He's gonna drain it, repaint it and start over.   All the while expecting a different result.

So here we are; the National Guard has been tasked with watching paint peel from behind a newly-installed chain link fence and Donald Trump may go down in history as the only US President to be outwitted by a single celled organism.

You can't make this stuff up if you tried.... 

 

Q&A

Question:  Why does a dog lick his balls?

Answer:  Because he can.

Same for whitetail deer.

Follow me for more critical wildlife biology answers.....

  

 

Is It Real...

...Or Is it AI? 

The first time I saw the imagery I thought to myself 'is that who I think it is?'

Guess I wasn't alone.

Lighten-up people and have a laugh for a change. 

Comical

If it wasn't such a serious subject the appearance of a comic book superhero before a city council would be comical.

Extra credit to Batman for drawing attention to a gravely serious subject.

Getting Into the Holiday Mood

In case you've been wondering if I've been naughty or nice I'm feeling just a wee bit irreverent today.  

And couldn't resist sharing this little tidbit of holiday humor set to traditional Christmas carols...

Noticeable Quotable

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness. 

- Oscar Wilde

 

Deer Camp

A couple of days before deer camp a hunter's wife puts her foot down and tells him he has to stay home and whittle down his honey-do list of chores.   

The fella's friends are upset and understandably disappointed that he cannot join them at camp.  Alas, they are powerless to do anything about it.  Two days later the crew has gathered at deer camp.  A fire is stoked in the wood burner.  Blaze orange bibs and parkas are hung in the fresh air on the porch.  Even the boots toe the line.  Firearms are carefully stacked on the gun rack at the back door.  Bunks are claimed and everyone is enjoying a refreshing adult beverage and shooting the bull in the testosterone-infused atmosphere. 

Suddenly the dogs bark as the door from the garage opens and the heretofore grounded hunter materializes.   

Dang dude!  How did you manage to talk your wife into letting you go? 

Sidling-up to the kitchen counter and opening a beer the hunter explains...   

This morning I was sitting in my chair feeling poorly when my wife came up behind me.   

She put her hands over my eyes and said - 'guess who?'   I pulled her hands away and was surprised to see she was wearing a flimsy negligee from Victoria's Secret.   

A collective gasp emanates from the group as the hunter continues.   

Then she took my hand and pulled me over to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over.  On the bed she had handcuffs.  There were ropes too.  She told me to tie and handcuff her to the bed.     

Another collective gasp from the rapt audience. 

You know I follow directions - so I did what she told me to do. Then she said - 'Do whatever you want.'   

So, here I am..... 

Fast Fact:  This year is the thirtieth anniversary of our deer camp.  Huzzah! 

Protecting Union Station

Godfrey C. Danchimah Jr. (born July 21, 1969), known as Godfrey, is an American comedian and actor who has appeared in multiple venues to numerous to list.  

Bio here.

Enjoy this YouTube Short.... 

Embrace The Cult

In an alarming trend - MAGA supporters by the thousands - are demolishing the east side of their houses.....

Following Instructions

If you've owned a VW Beetle you would appreciate this 1960s humor...

Smooth Your Ride

 

Axe Advertising

 I had forgotten about the off-color humor in Axe's playful marketing....

Molson Canadian

OK.

One more....

Foolish Is As Foolish Does

The history of April Fool's Day or All Fool's Day is uncertain, but the current thinking is that it began around 1582 in France with the reform of the calendar under Charles IX. The Gregorian Calendar was introduced, and New Year's Day was moved from March 25 - April 1 (new year's week) to January 1.

Communication traveled slowly in those days and some people were only informed of the change several years later. Still others, who were more rebellious, refused to acknowledge the change and continued to celebrate on the last day of the former celebration, April 1.

These people were labeled "fools" by the general populace, were subject to ridicule and sent on "fool errands," sent invitations to nonexistent parties and had other practical jokes played upon them. The butts of these pranks became known as a "poisson d'avril" or "April fish" because a young naive fish is easily caught. In addition, one common practice was to hook a paper fish on the back of someone as a joke.

This harassment evolved over time and a custom of prank-playing continue on the first day of April. This tradition eventually spread elsewhere to Britain and Scotland in the 18th century and was introduced to the American colonies by the English and the French. Because of this spread to other countries, April Fool's Day has taken on an international flavor with each country celebrating the holiday in its own way.

In 1996 the Taco Bell Corporation announced it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known, he said, as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.

Here's some inspiration.....

 

Molson Canadian

This brought a smile to my lips.  Hope you get a chuckle too.

Cheers!

Wile E. Coyote

Perhaps some of this can be explained by retirement affording the opportunity to live here year-round.  Or having sic trail cameras deployed year-round.  And checking them pretty regularly at two week intervals.  Nevertheless, I cannot recall a time when I have been witness to so many coyotes.

Wile E. Coyote sure makes the rounds.....

Mr. Baseball

 Bob Uecker passed away yesterday at the age of 90.  

He was one of the game's most beloved figures throughout his 70-year career in baseball.  In his six years in his hometown of Milwaukee as well as St. Louis, Philadelphia and Atlanta Bob made many friends among the  baseball stars of the 1960s.  He was a member of the 1964 World Series Champion Cardinals.

Uecker spent 53 years doing what he loved most, calling Brewers games on the radio.  So popularly successful the Baseball Hall of Fame honored him in 2003 with the Ford C. Frick Award; a testament to his ability to elicit smiles and laughter.

Uecker's six seasons as a backup catcher began in 1962 with the Milwaukee Braves and his .200 lifetime batting average supplied plenty of material for decades of his shtick. Nevertheless, of Uecker's 14 career home runs, three were off future Hall of Famers: Sandy Koufax, Fergie Jenkins and Gaylord Perry.

God Speed Mr. Baseball...

Cardinals management fined both Bob Gibson and Bob Uecker for holding hands with big goofy smiles on their faces.  The Team Photo had to be retaken.

 

Happy New Year

The grand kids asked if they could write LET IT SNOW on the porch windows.

The bottom photo is the view from the street.

Happy New Year.....