The Memo

A memo crossed my desk at the day job today.

Americans discard four million tons of office paper each year, which is the equivalent of 96 million trees or a 500,000 acre forest. With this in mind, Giant Faceless Financial Firm is reducing the printing and mailing of specific hard-copy correspondence you receive, and for your convenience is providing that correspondence via your Giant Faceless Financial Firm professional partner website.

Thank you for your continued business and for joining the many professional partners who are already experiencing the convenience of "any time access" to their Giant Faceless Financial Firm quarterly statements. If you have any questions, please contact our Customer Service Center at 800-123-4567.

Oh, sure.

This is corporate doublespeak for - one other thing we are going to stop doing as a mechanism to shore-up our bottom line while at the same time hoping you don't notice that we're not going to reduce any of the program fees we charge you.

And what about the tree farmer?